Friday, July 17, 2015
Malaysia is as wonderful as always. Not pushing me to date anyone and not getting upset if I don’t date anyone. That’s something very nice to have in a friend. I think I feel like this because of the white people here. They are doing their own thing and not trying to pressurize me into anything.
New York was a nightmare. At first I thought ... I am going to America ... who the hell knows me there? Everybody will be busy with their own thing and I will just live like an unknown and unnoticed person. It would give me a relief from the tension that the Indian and British Crew Systems were giving me in India at that time. I thought I would be able to live in peace in New York.
But it turned out to the opposite. The Crew System is even more powerful and widely spread in New York. On top of that ... it added another Crew System that wanted to own me ... the American Crew System. Choose me ... love me ... date me ... marry me ... I want to have your children ... you are a good leader ... I will make you a great politician. I was like ... Holy Jesus, here we go again. And both the British and American Crew Systems would compete in owning me ... and justify who was right in owning me. I was a little kid watching two bullies fight over me. Leaving India and coming to New York was like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. It was a total disaster. Well, a disaster from one angle ... of escaping the Crew’s ownership plans.
I don’t know if the Crew understands how it feels when you are approached by a stranger ... you don’t even know who the guy is ... what his intentions are ... what he wants from you ... why is he proposing this. They just walk up to you and give you a list of thing to do and give a plan for your life. And I am like ... excuse me ... who are you again? I am a System Analyst ... that’s how my mind works ... I need “data” ... not a plan. You don’t come to me with a plan. Even if you have a plan ... I need the associated data with that plan. Without any data ... you are just talking nonsense.
If I go to any new place or meet a new person ... I ask a lot of questions ... about this and that ... hows and whys ... till I get the complete data. Having the complete data about the people and my surroundings in a way completes me ... it makes me feel more comfortable. That’s how my System Analysis works by the way ... I collect data about different people and elements involved ... from different angles ... more the relevant and true data I have, better is the analysis. But if you come and tell me ... “I have a plan for you”, then the Analyst inside me says ... stay away from this guy. That is the most ambiguous and undefined statement ever. And if someone says ... I have a plan for you and starts chasing me ... it literally freaks me out ... because there are so many unknown elements attached with that person.
And when I came to Malaysia ... I was a little bit scared actually. Because it is in many ways like New York. New York City is a tourist place ... you will see Americans, Chinese, Indians and Arabs over there. And Kuala Lumpur is also a tourist place ... and I am seeing White people, Chinese, Indians and Arabs over here. I was actually thinking that ... Holy Shit ... this is dejavu ... it is going to start all over again. These crazy Americans and British are going to start all over again ... choose me, date me, love me, marry me ... Good Lord, help me. I can’t take this all over again. Lol.
But to my surprise ... none of that happened. The Americans and the British out here are so well behaved and normal. They stick to their routine and allow you to stick to your routine. They are okay with it ... they are not bothered by it or envious or jealous. They are not playing tug of war with me stuck in between. And it feels so nice to finally have some space.
I am very glad that they have grown up and stopped with the ownership plans. They Crew Systems are finally focusing on the work at hand ... like grown up men do. I think that teenage girl like competition in New York was mainly because I left India and came to America ... and it was their chance to change the ownership and that’s why both of them were competing over it. I am glad that ... that phase is over. I am moving between different countries without any Crew System going crazy over ownership or control issues. That’s a nice thing to see.
Regarding work ... yeah, I am not writing much. It’s time to campaign ... making arrangements for that ... will probably take a few months.